Ladies and Gentlemen...
  The President of the United States!
  *"Fella Americans...Doot, Doot, Doot..."*
  He's been sick!--Doot! Doot!
  And I think his wife is gonna bring him
  Some chicken soap
  Plastic people!
  Oh, baby, now you're such a drag
  
  I know it's hard to defend an unpopular policy
  Every once in a while--
  
  Plastic people!
  Oh, baby, now you're such a drag
  
  And there's this guy from the CIA he's creepin'
  Around Laurel Canyon
  A fine little girl She waits for me
  She's as plastic as she can be
  She paints her face With plastic goo
  And wrecks her hair With some shampoo
  
  Plastic people
  Oh, baby, now you're such a drag
  
  "I dunno...sometimes I just get tired
  Of ya honey--it's...ah..your
  Hair spray...or something..."
  
  Plastic people
  Oh, baby, now you're such a drag
  
  "I hear the sound of marching feet...
  down Sunset Boulevard to Crescent Heights
  ...and there...at Pandora's box...
  We are confronted with...a vast
  Quantity of...Plastic people..."
  Take a day and walk around
  Watch the Nazi's Run your town
  Then go home and check yourself
  You think we're singing
  'Bout someone else
  
  But you're Plastic people
  Oh, Baby, now
  You're such a drag
  
  Me see a neon Moon above
  I searched for years I found no love
  I'm sure that love Will never be
  A product of Plasticity
  A product of Plasticity
  PLASTIC, PLASTIC PEOPLE--PLA-HA-HA-HA
  HA-PLASTIC--You are--your foot--your hair
  --your nose--your arms--you suck--you love
  --you are--your being is--you're plastic--blah
  --blah--blah--blah plastic Peoples
  -A prune is not a vegetable
  --cabbage is a vegetable; makes it O.K.
  --plastic people--plastic People
  --you dream about...you think about...you eat
  ...you are...Ooo-Hoo-Hoo...
  purple prancing--plastic People-
  Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Pee-Peep!