And now, Miss Roxie Hart and Miss Velma Kelly sing a song of unrelenting determination and unmitigated ego.
  
  One thing I know - One thing I know
  And I've always known - And I've always known
  I am my own - I am my own
  Best friend
  
  Baby's alive - Baby's alive
  But baby's alone - But baby's alone
  And baby's her own - And baby's her own
  Best friend
  
  Many's the guy
  Who told me he cares
  But they were scratchin' my back
  'Cause I was scratchin' theirs
  
  And trusting to luck - And trusting to luck
  That's only for fools - Only for fools
  I play in a game - I play in a game
  Where I make the rules
  And rule number one
  From here to the end
  Is 'I am my own best friend'
  
  Three musketees
  Who never say die
  Are standing here this minute
  
  Me - Me
  Myself - Myself
  And I! -And I!
  
  If life is a school
  I'll pass every test
  If life is a game
  I'll play it the best
  'Cause I won't give in
  and I'll never bend
  and I am my own best friend!