I play practical jokes, just to get a laugh (ha hah)
  I put roaches in my neighbor's bubblebath
  But anyway one day she called upon me
  She said, "Lyte - it's an emergency!"
  My next door neighbor had an errand to run
  I said, "Why Ms. Davis - ask your son"
  She said, "Ricky's at his grandmother's"
  I said, "Well what about Tommy, the younger brother?"
  She said, "See, umm, he's at the pharmacy"
  I said, "He'll be back soon how much longer could it be?"
  She said, "C'mon please, it's just a trip uptown
  If you leave right now you'll be back before sundown
  Hurry up, there's not a moment to spare
  It absolutely positively has to get there"
  Umm, I contemplated then I played a good Samaritan
  I started the car, then she threw the package in
  
  It absolutely positively has to get there
  (Get there?)
  It absolutely positively has to get there
  (Well then send it Federal Express!)
  It absolutely positively has to get there
  (It gotta get there?)
  It absolutely positively got to get there!
  (Yo who you rushin?)
  
  Pumpin out the music on the FDR
  Not far behind me was a DT car
  So I eased up selector, 55 the digit
  But on the FDR, 40 is the limit
  Here they come, sirens on
  I could see myself in jail til the break of dawn
  But they rolled right by it wasn't me they was after
  A little red corvette, they was tryin to capture
  Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket
  Look up ahead, now that's what I call traffic
  Dipped to an exit and I made my way through
  Couldn't believe when I hit first avenue
  on a Honda's ass, just about to crash
  Looked at the gauge and the shit said NO GAS
  Zero, nada, nothing in here see
  In car terms the shit was on empty
  Got out, and pushed the shit to the side
  Hailed a cab, then I caught a quick ride
  to the house of inflation, yes the gas station
  Gave a little tip to show my appreciation
  Got back to the ave where I left my car
  It wasn't there, but it couldn't have gone far
  Hot damn, I must have got towed
  Tried to figure out how much money I owed
  Went to the pound and I paid my debt
  Think that was the worst? You ain't heard nuttin yet
  Bumped into that crackhead Sam I used to see
  And like always, hand out, give me money
  In my tank was a dollar's worth of gas
  I had to get an ? machine fast
  
  It absolutely positively has to get there
  (Get there?)
  It absolutely positively got to get there
  (What?)
  It absolutely positively got to get there
  (Well send it some way else)
  It absolutely positively has to get there
  
  As I left the bank to walk back to the BM
  Couldn't believe what my eyes were seein
  Looked at the back tire, it was flate
  while the other three, were SO DAMN FAT
  A brother walked by and offered his help
  Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself
  But he, changed it quick, so I passed him a ten
  Here I go on this journey again
  Went to the gas station, to fill it up
  when a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump
  I said, "LOOK, I don't need your help today"
  and I scared the motherfucker and he was on his way
  Oops, a cat, SHIT, scrat!
  Fur on my tires, and all that
  What's this, a stroke of bad luck?
  But at this point, I don't even give a fuck
  I got to get the package to the destination
  No matter what the confrontation
  I arrive, bag in my hand
  Lookin for a woman named Pam
  She opened the bag it was wrapped tight and snug
  But in that bag yo, in that bag
  45, guess what? (What was it Lyte?)
  It was a box of q-tips .. a box of fuckin q-tips man!!!
  {*laughter*}