They call me Mr Carbohydrate
  It's the only thing I can digest
  Xenophobia or general disinterest
  I must catch up with all this stuff
  
  They call me a boring fuckhead
  Say I might as well work in a bank
  I tell them I wish I was
  They tell me that I'm sick in the head
  They say that I'm sick in my head
  
  They call me Mr Carbohydrate
  They call me Mr Inadequate
  They call me Mr Paranoia
  They call me Mr Hypochondria
  
  Have you heard of Matthew Maynard
  He's my favourite cricketer
  I would rather watch him play
  Than pick up my guitar
  Than play with my guitar
  
  People tell me that I should get out more
  But the TV is my best friend
  Cynicism is the only thing that keeps me sane
  The only thing that keeps me sane
  
  They call me Mr Carbohydrate
  They call me Mr Inadequate
  They call me Mr Paranoia
  They call me Mr Hypochondria
  
  Sometimes I just stay in bed
  And think about the day
  When I can retire
  Forgetting everything
  I'll forget everything
  
  Forget everything
  Forever but not today
  When I cannot, cannot say
  No more yesterdays
  No more yesterdays